The DNA of Relationships review:4 stars (Not just for married people) - I thought this would be a really stupid marriage book when our church started this study (and I'm single so I didn't want a stupid marriage study), but I have really enjoyed the videos, the book, and the downloadable study guide. I decided to take the study seriously and discovered this book is a practical guide to how to make ANY relationship better. The review at the end of each chapter is a quick way to refresh your mind on the main points of what the previous chapter taught.
The quiz at the end of the book is great and helps you to identify your core fears - what sets you off in what Smalley calls the "Fear Dance," when you have conflicts with others. Each conflict boils down to one of two core fears - fear loss of connection, or fear of loss of control. Women usually have the first fear, and men the second, though there is overlap. ALL fears we have boil down to one of these two.
I have learned that I need to take responsibility for my buttons and allowing people to push them (the chapter "The Power of One"). No one can make me do or feel anything.
This book has also forced me to take a hard look at myself and how I treat others, and whether I have created an anvironment where they feel safe to share their heart with me.4 stars (Makes sense to m) - The book is easy to read, and the exercises really make you think. My ex and I are going through this book with our pastor to see if there's any hope of reconciling and so far it's helped us realize all the things we did wrong in our marriage and why. It's helping us to take the focus off who's to blame and refocusing on what's the right thing to do. We're about 2/3 of the way through the book so we haven't finished it yet, but I expect the rest of it will be as helpful as what we've already covered. I'd recommend this book for anyone considering a serious relationship, in the middle of a relationship, or trying to rebuild one. It does a good job of covering them all.5 stars (FANTASTIC!) - This book is over the top! It is sooo practical and do-able. EVERYONE needs to read this book. After I read mine, I ordered ten more to give to friends and family--no special occasions,just because it is so great. I've never done that with any other book before. Great for parents, couples, singles, engaged couples, grandparents, and older children!! GREAT!
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